He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
