what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
