If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
