hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
