I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
