Are we in a gay sports bar?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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