how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
