I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
