tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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