dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
