i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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