so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Porn is love you can see.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
