dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
