wrigley field is MILF paradise
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
