Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He kissed a someone with a penis
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
