real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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