nut hugger
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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