you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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