Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
