Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this just has baby written all over it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
