I want to walk on stilts...naked
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So many bounce houses so little time
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
