Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
