I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
