I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
