so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
