Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
