ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
