id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
