I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
