How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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