God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
