im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
