no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
