Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
