I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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