You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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