it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
