All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
