It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
