found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
