My first STD was from a foam party
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
