Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
