Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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