its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
where are my eyebrows?
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