whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
