just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
