is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
