Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Randomize
