i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
