it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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