I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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